"Oh my gosh, Regis. Cody and Cassidy made a prison shank from a rusty nail and a toothbrush last night! It was so cute."
Last night I did battle with this cake. It wasn't pretty. I was so excited to make it - doesn't it look perfect? I don't know what exactly went wrong, but my cake ended up being a Kathie-Lee-Gifford-for K-Mart dress in an Armani world.
This was all probably error on my part, but my almond praline turned into one sugary, almondy lump (no golden-brown crackle in sight), the frosting wasn't substantial enough (too airy) to spread, and the dulce de leche, oh, don't even get me started on the dulce de leche. Culinary genius that I am, I decided making my own would be a great idea. I spent $6 on an f-ing vanilla bean (damn you, Whole Foods!) and two hours waiting for simmering milk to magically turn into a brown caramel-y substance before finally throwing in the towel.
The whole thing left me just wanting Paula Deen (who, in a perfect world, would be my third grandma) to come over and tell me in her syrupy voice that everything would be okay, and then feed me some of her homemade butter pecan ice cream. Which I bet she never fucks up.
But, there were things to be salvaged from this experience. The brown sugar cake part itself actually turned out excellently - very moist, with a surprising amount of caramely brown sugar showing through.
So, today, to prove to myself that I'm not a total failure at life, I made cupcakes.
Brown Sugar Cupcakes with Almond Cream Cheese Frosting
Makes about 16 cupcakes
Brown Sugar Cupcakes
For the cupcakes themselves, I used the brown sugar cake recipe from Bake and Shake. (Just bake the cupcakes in a cupcake tin at 350 degrees for 20 minutes instead, until a toothpick poked in one comes out clean.)
Almond Cream Cheese Frosting
3 Tbsp. butter, room temperature
4 oz. bar cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. almond extract
1. In a medium bowl, beat butter and cream cheese until smooth.
2. Add powdered sugar and extracts, beat until light and fluffy. Refrigerate until ready to use.
2 comments:
Ha, the caption underneath your photo reminds me of the movie "Accepted", re: toothbrush shank.
I'm so sorry that 2/3's of the recipe didn't fly with you -- I have no idea why the frosting, at least (caramel can be a tiny, contemptuous bitch, but if it wouldn't pour over the almonds it sounds like I need to re-test and maybe up the water), didn't suck it up and go big or go home. Team Player seminar. Tuesday. It was too airy to spread? It really wouldn't? Again, I'm totally sorry.
But the cupcakes look beautiful, for sure. Thanks for trying the recipe, at least!
No! Not your fault!! I wish I could say I was on mind-altering drugs during the attempt, but I think my culinary skills were just on hiatus. On a beach maybe somewhere drinking a Mai Tai. That would be nice.
I really don't think it was a result of the recipe - I was so jumpy and paranoid during the caramel experience that it was bound to turn into a disaster, and I think maybe using a $6 electric beater from CVS is not the best way to mix frosting. I lied; it was spreadable, it just kept glopping off the sides.
Anyway, I'm going to try the recipe again - all your food sounds incredible and I really enjoy your blog!
End of epic-long response: now.
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