I self-medicate with baked goods.

Just plain fat and sassy.

Yesterday could best be described as angsty. My emotions were stuck somewhere back in 1999 (the fourteenth year of my existence, when I constantly just wanted to be left alone.) Absolutely nothing and everything was wrong – and I knew it from the start of the day when I found myself STANDING ON THE LEFT SIDE of the Metro escalator, completely oblivious until I heard the very audible sighs of fellow passengers behind me. The shame! I know better – I’m usually the one audibly sighing at the escalefters. (If any non-DC residents are reading this, standing on the left is as morally reprehensible as admitting you like shaking babies or mowing down elderly pedestrians on your Vespa.)

After a crummy start, the day just didn’t get better. Nothing bad happened, there is nothing emotionally scarring going on in my life (newly-minted boyfriend is fun and British, and life at my house is as drama-free as possible when you live with five other girls), but I couldn’t shake this general malaise that made me want to run home, slam my door, scream at a mother (any mother would do, really) about how she just doesn’t GET IT, and then play Sad People Music and wallow.

Instead, I baked. Cupcakes. And then everything was slightly better.

Banana-Hazelnut Cupcakes with Nutella Buttercream Frosting

Banana-Hazelnut Cupcakes
(Cupcake recipe adapted from Cupcake Bakeshop)
Makes about 22 cupcakes

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. salt
3 medium bananas
½ cup buttermilk
3 large eggs
¾ cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
½ cup chopped hazelnuts

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a largeish bowl, mix flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder together.
3. Blend bananas and buttermilk in a blender or food processor until smooth.
4. In another bowl, combine banana gloop from blender, eggs, veggie oil, and vanilla.
5. Fold flour mixture into wet mixture then stir in hazelnuts.
6. Spoon into cupcake papers until about ¾ full.
7. Bake for 20-22 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.
8. Let cupcakes cool completely, then pipe on frosting and top with a caramelized banana disk or any extra hazelnuts.

Nutella Buttercream Frosting
(Recipe adapted from here.)

¼ cup butter, softened
½ cup Nutella, foodstuff of the gods
3 cups powdered sugar
3 Tbsp. milk
pinch of salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Dump all ingredients in a bowl and beat on high until fluffy and frosting-like. Add more milk if needed.

Caramelized Banana Disks
(from Cupcake Bakeshop)

1 Tbsp. butter
a pinch or two of sugar
1 banana

Slice banana into thin disks. Melt some butter in a small skillet, then gently drop banana slices in and sprinkle with sugar. (It’s probably best to do this in batches.) Sauté bananas for a minute or two until they turn brownish and slightly crisp. Remove and blot on paper towels or old term papers.

Troubleshooting. Smugly, like Trent the IT guy:

1. The cupcakes turned out to be muffins masquerading as cupcakes. Phantom of the Opera comes to mind (“MASQUERAAAAADE, cupcake faces on paraaaaade.”) Wow, moving on. To be fair, the website I got the recipe from said that the recipe was too dense and needed more work, but, I, like the rebel I am, skipped over reading the notes to very dense muffin-like results. Blast. I’m not sure what would rectify this. Suggestions? Okay, so I’m not as good as Trent at troubleshooting.

2. The frosting was incredible. Just sayin’. But, with a tendency to melt. You might want to pop the cupcakes in the fridge for a bit to let the frosting harden after, well, you frost.

3. IMPORTANT: I ran out of frosting by cupcake number 18, so I just used plain Nutella to frost the rest. Sheer laziness on my part, but I suggest doubling the frosting recipe.

4. The banana disk things were very greasy. I suggest if you use them as garnish, you blot them very well beforehand; otherwise they will slide right off the frosted cupcake in a buttery mess.